Dear Journal, Wonderland Hates Me | The Truth About Writing

Everyone thinks that writing is easy, after all you just have to type words on a screen. But those people are wrong. writing is hard, it drains your energy and brain power, often it doesn't turn out how you would like. and people always criticize it.

I don't have an introduction to today's post, at first, I was thinking something along the lines of. I didn't ever want to write this post. but I thought that would be a little over the top for the first line. however the statement is true, I never wanted to write this post. not because of my wonderful audience, but because I never wanted to find writing anything other than fun, easy, and enjoyable.

But as you can see, I was wrong to think that it would always be that way.

I am here today to cast a light to the darker corners and secrets that writers often don't talk about. the thoughts that we have privately to ourselves, struggles Young Writers face, and fighting with our own stories.

"Your writing isn't good enough, your story doesn't shine, and no one will ever love it like you do." - your mind

As writers we fight these thoughts all the time, in fact sometimes the thoughts are so all consuming you want to scrap your story. they constantly attack you and every once in a while, you can't help but to listen. in your good times when you are full of inspiration and excitement for your project the flaming arrows seem to bounce away but the moment that you bow your head in rest, they sear your mind with lies.

We try to push these thoughts away brushing them aside as we recognize the truth in them. After all no one will love your story as much as you, your characters are your children and your world your home. your story is written on paper, so it is hard for it to shine, unless your burn it. paper doesn't glow. and your writing is never perfect, you can always grow and learn but often writers get brought down by the very same lie that the truth is seen in.

Even though we don't want to we do believe in the lies. as my dear friend Shiloh at GracefulSoul put it in her latest post

Imagine being trapped in a room with dark, looming walls towering above your head. Those tall, dark walls slowly move closer and closer together, until suddenly you’re left with no more space than what your body takes up. Now you’re stuck being crushed by those dark walls, and you barely have any space to move to the side or turn around.

Those walls are the lies that we as writers unwieldly believe at times. but just because we fight thoughts like this doesn't mean that we truly allow ourselves to be consumed by them. yes. we will have our low moments when we cry and scream into a pillow, but as writers we know the next day or week we will sit back down and say:

"Screw that thought, I love my story, I will fight for it." - you

Once you realize that yes, your writing is in fact good, possibly not C. S. Luis level yet (don't worry it could be in your future! ;) but people probably already love it, if you are sharing it with some friends who knows they might be the one to say "Wow, I can't wait to have this on my bookshelf." or if they know you struggle with the thoughts, they might say something more like this "YOUR WRITING IS GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!! DON'T THINK LIKE THAT!!!"

Friends and family like that, people that reenforce the true reason you write are the ones that help to defend you from those arrows that scorch your mind, they are the ones that listen when you talk and remember what you said about that one side character you love.

Those are the people who will start making those walls open again as you ground yourself again and prepare to go into battle with a pen and keyboard.

For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,

Romans 8 5-6

"This isn't going to be your debut novel." - person brining you down

People don't realize how their words affect the minds they are spoken to. They don't realize that we writers will always be thinking about what they said that hurtful thing that then feeds the thoughts that we already face. Thoughts that are already hard enough for us to fight, are now reenforced with carless words said by someone.

Often times as young writers people tell treat us differently because of how young we are, they act like we don't know what we are doing. Even though we know more about writing then the person judging our dream. Frequently people, whether that person is an author, editor, or a person from just about anywhere, speak down to us. telling us things that make us think twice about everything.

The people talking to you might not even realize what they said, they will most likely continue talking like what they said didn't pierce your heart. I was reading a post by my friend Deigan Marie and a part of it said this:

Negativity--especially about your story, your baby--can be . . . really tough. Really tough. But you know what's something I do when I receive feedback that stings, or a review that hits me in the gut? I smile. I thank God. You know why? Because in my head, a one-star review means I finally made it. Someone who didn't like my story read it and gave me their honest opinion. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it can be hard to get over. But I'm still so, so grateful.

I think she has a wonderful point, because despite the fact that someone is hurting you with their words. it means they took the time to read over your story, take a look at your world. even if they didn't like it and even if they go and make it clear to you over and over again, they remembered you wrote, they remembered your story.

Now, sometimes people didn't read your story when they say hurtful things. To me as a young writer those are the most hurtful words because those people are assuming that you can't. you can't write a book. you can't edit a book. you can't get published. but once again you have to think different ignore what those people say.

"I don't care what those people say. I CAN do this." - you

And you can do it. I know you can because if I could push past what those people said then you can to. of course it is hard to do by yourself, that is where your friends and family come in. to tell you, you can. however it might be worded more like this:

"YOU CAN DO ITTTTTTT!!!!!!!!" or something more mellow like "Snap out of it, you and I both know you are going to write that book so SIT DOWN AND WRITE."

Trust me when I say that you have people rallying with you, they want to see you complete your dream as much as you want to live it. and those voices are the ones that you should listen to. those are the ones you should believe. and once you re focus on words like that you will fly.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29: 11

Dear Journal,

Wonderland hates me.

Thoughts and words aren't the only thing that we as writers struggle with, we also fight with our stories. (They tend to get out of line quite a lot) sometimes we can't get the characters to do what we want as they fight with us wanting a different story. the plot often falls into shambles and the settings are never as real as we would like. and we struggle with this, the rest of my journal entry went something along these lines.

The scene that I am writing just isn't coming together, I think I have written it at least three times. and deleted each one. But that isn't it! oh no, that would be too easy. my characters demand to have another scene in the middle of the book that I now have to write in. don't get me wrong I love the idea, but I am just TIRED of them doing what they want. but the thing that is annoying me the most is the flow, because of all the big edits I have to do the flow of the story just doesn't flow!

Needless to say, I was frustrated. and I know I am not the only one who has these issues. many of my friends have at some point expressed their frustration with similar things. sometimes you wish as a writer that you could just scream at the characters and smack them but that is not the way it is. instead, the best way to help is simple rest. my friend M. L. Milligan wrote a post, and this bit really stuck out to me:

The point of resting is taking a break, of recharging your energy stores, of refilling your creative well.

and she is right, resting/taking a break does refill your creative well and energy stores. but resting does even more then that, it makes you STOKED for your story again. you can't get the ideas out of your head, they engulf you with there madness turning that journal entry from: Dear Journal, Wonderland hates me to:

Dear Journal, Wonderland has never felt so real.

Take the advice from M. L. Milligan:

make a list of fills you up. What stocks that creative well of yours? Makes you fill full. Beside that double cheeseburger with fries and a shake. You’re looking for the activities and moments that wash away the stress of the rat race—the small (or big) things that make you feel alive and human again.

Take this advice from me. REST when your story feels out of control, when your life just consumes you rest, take a moment to breath. take a moment to thank God and praise his name.

Come all you who are wary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

If you remember nothing else from today's post, please remember this:

YOUR WRITING IS GOOD ENOUGH.

YOU CAN DO IT.

TAKE A REST WHEN YOU NEED IT.

Rock On,

K. Florence <3